


stupidity as a love language.

by wildwildhq



Category: Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF
Genre: 4+1 Things, Attempt at humour, Gen, Hinata Shouyou is a Little Shit, Kageyama Tobio is Bad at Feelings, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:15:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29882373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwildhq/pseuds/wildwildhq
Summary: 4 times Kageyama and Hinata are stupid together, and the one time they're smart.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio & Tsukishima Kei & Yachi Hitoka & Yamaguchi Tadashi, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	stupidity as a love language.

**Author's Note:**

> (for an irl)
> 
> i had fun writing this! hopefully you guys like it too!! lmk how it is <33 comments + kudos are appreciated!!

_1._  
The sunlight trickles in through the gaps between the leafy canopy above, and the stream gurgles happily underneath. The air is lukewarm, cold enough to ask for a jacket, warm enough to avoid much else.

Essentially, it is calm and peace for once (once!) in the small running circuit in the woods near Karasuno High.

However, every time said running circuit took a breather, someone goes, "Oh, something's not quite right," and whoosh! That someone (which is me, your local chaotic narrator) sends in two troublesome teens who were akin to bombs - loud voices, hot tempers, explosive personalities.

And, right on cue, Kageyama and Hinata thunder in from the distance, bickering yet again.

"Hinata, I'm serious. We are never going to see the third-years again."

"Kageyama-kun, that's bull! You were a third-year, you graduated, you see your juniors!"

"Yeah, but this is different! Daichi-san and the others are graduating and going to college!"

Hinata stops, and Kageyama staggers to a halt a few feet away. Hinata blinks, looking up at the trees, before down at the hard tarmac of the ground, and then places a hand on his chin in thought. "Hm," he mumbles, and Kageyama stares at him.

"Yep," Hinata looks at Kageyama, holding in a laugh. "Still bull!"

Kageyama shifts uncomfortably, hopping from one foot to the other. "Um," he begins, intelligently. "I saw Nishinoya-senpai hugging Azumane-san tightly in the clubroom. He was crying and muttering something like "Don't go! Don't leave me forever!" except it was sniffly."

Hinata freezes, looking up at Kageyama with wide eyes. "Oh. Oh my god."

They share another look, nod firmly at each other and then turn on their heels and rush towards school, shoes slapping against the path. They're screaming for no good reason, as expected of those two, and they yell their way down the hill, over the main road and into the school gates.

As soon as they spot the club room, they pick up the pace, jump over the steps and glomp the first person they find - a poor, unsuspecting Kiyoko.

"Shimizu-senpai!" Kageyama greets, gruffly. He bows and yells, "Please don't leave us!"

Kiyoko blinks, eyes bugging out of her head. "E-Eh?!"

Hinata, meanwhile, is full-on sobbing into her tracksuit, blubbering and sniffling as he tightens his arms around her. "Please don't leave forever, Kiyoko-san! What if we get lost in the woods near Tokyo again?"

"Hinata-kun," Kiyoko says, confused. "That's a bad enough example already."

"Who's going to fill paperwork?" Kageyama begs.

"Yachi, obviously."

Kageyama waddles towards Hinata and Kiyoko and slumps on them, wrapping his arms around them awkwardly and staring at the wood tiles on the floor.

"Don't leave us, Kiyoko-san," Kageyama mumbles. "At least visit us afterwards."

Kiyoko smiles, touched. She pats both of their dishevelled heads and pries herself out of their grips, ignoring the larger-than-life tear stain on her left shoulder.  
"Of course, kiddos," she smiles. "Stop crying, now. Practice starts in 10 minutes."

_2._  
"The third-years are gone now," Yachi announces the day after graduation. "And our exams are over, which means I have nothing to do to take my mind off things."

Hinata drops an arm around her shoulder as he bounds in through the door of Yamaguchi's room. "Hey! Yachi, you always have us!"

"Yeah," Kageyama agrees, moving from his spot on the floor to make room for Hinata. "You can always do us."  
Hinata nods eagerly and with determination.

Tsukishima turns the page of his magazine with a long-suffering sigh. "How unfortunate that you worded it like that," he says, and Yamaguchi snickers.

Yachi, Kageyama and Hinata pale simultaneously.  
"Yep, just heard that," Kageyama winces. "I meant that you can hang out with us."

"Yeah," Yachi smiles. "Thanks, guys."

They do. A week later, much to the chagrin of Tsukishima, the five of them head to the movie theatres to watch a freshly released thriller. They take their seats in the middle row, with Tsukishima next to Yamaguchi and Kageyama flanked by Yachi and Hinata.

The popcorn arrives, along with some karaage, and they bite into their food, occasionally whispering about the movie.

About 20 minutes in, Kageyama sits up straighter in his seat ("my back hurts for some reason," he clarifies) and accidentally pisses off Satan.

Well, not exactly, unless Satan was a young, bratty girl in the row behind them.

Said girl begins kicking Kageyama's seat, slowly at first. He turns to look at her, eyes questioning, and she stops instantly, blinking innocuously.

Kageyama shifts to look at the movie, but less than a minute later, the girl starts pummeling his seat again, with more force and speed. He turns to glare, before asking, "Hey, what do you want?"

The girl says nothing, choosing to stick her tongue out at him immaturely, and Kageyama hisses as he whips his head back to watch the movie, irritated.  
Irritated is an understatement? My bad, Tobio. Shut up, now.

Satan-as-a-tiny-human resumes her assault on Kageyama's chair, and, poor boy, how he held onto his temper for a good 3.56 minutes, before he turns to the girl with an exasperated sigh, and growls, "What the fuck do you want?"

This time, Hinata turns too, and he slaps Kageyama up the head. "Be gentle, idiot!"

Kageyama clears his throat and sings, "What~ the fuck do you~ want?!" 

"Gentler," Hinata presses. "Here, what the fuuuuck do you waaaaant?"

"Okay, wait," Kageyama says, scrunching his eyebrows. "What the fuuuuck do you waaaant?"

"No, something's not right. Wha-Wha- Ah! What the fuuuuck do you waaaant?"

"Ah, got it, got it," the setter looks at the kid. "What the fuuuuuck do you waaant?" He sings, sweetly.

The girl rolls her eyes at the two singing boys in front of her. "I want you to slouch a little bit, I can't see."

"Ooookaaaay," Kageyama sings, turning and slumping in his seat again.

"Cooooooool," Hinata smiles, turning to watch the movie once more.

"Weirdo," he grumbles to Kageyama, and he nods in agreement.

"Weirdo."

_3._  
“Hey, Kageyama,” Hinata slyly says, sneaking up behind the boy. They’re at Kageyama’s place for the weekend, since Hinata’s parents went on a family emergency with Natsu, and Hinata was in the middle of exams. “Whatcha doing?”

Kageyama jumps in his seat, knees slamming into the underside of his desk. He twists, extends an arm and firmly plants his hand in Hinata’s hair, digging into his scalp with such annoyance that Hinata felt like he had gotten The Worst Massage Of His Life for free and without even asking.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch, time out, Kageyama,” he cries, swatting the younger’s hand away. He breathes out and looks at Kageyama’s frustrated face and a smirk dances on his lips.

“What’s wrong, Kageyama-kun?” He asks, coyly, and Hinata jumps on his toes with glee at the twitch of Kageyama’s left eyebrow.  
“My computer,” the setter begins, strangled. “Seems to be broken.”

“Your computer seems to be broken,” the spiker repeats, slowly. “Okay. Cool.”

“What, you aren’t going to help me fix it?”

“Bakageyama, I haven’t got a single clue about how computers work. They’re big chunky slabs to me! With the internet!”

“Of course,” the younger replies, turning to face his blanked-out laptop with a sigh. “Well, my manga collection is over- Never mind, you found it.”

Hinata excitedly nods from his spot on the rug near Kageyama’s bed, BNHA volume in hand, and the setter gets to work on his laptop.  
About 4 minutes of comfortable silence stretches between them, the only noises were Kageyama impatiently drumming his fingers on his desk and Hinata flipping the pages of the manga.

Hinata’s eyes drift away from the page and move across the room, taking in the barely-there décor and colours before landing on Kageyama, hunched over the computer. He watches as the younger first flicks the screen, then smashes all the keys on the keyboard aggressively, and then slams his fist onto the table, sighing softly. 

The spiker bites his lip to contain his giggles as Kageyama begins swearing at the computer.

“Listen up, you good-for-nothing, two-timing, rotten heathen. Start working right now or I will hire a cow to trample on you.”  
Hinata sputters as the setter continues his assault on the computer with a perfectly straight face, calling it random names and summoning the most irrelevant creatures to destroy said computer.

“You… You goon! Just work already! I’m tired of waiting around for you! Work before I turn you into Daichi-san and put you in the middle of that match against pineapple head!”

“Did you threaten your computer with a possible Tanaka-senpai-related steamroll?” Hinata begins between giggles. “Like, did that actually happen?”

“Are you deaf?” Kageyama quips, looking at the ginger. “I just said it! It did happen, brickhead!”

“Hey! Mean!”

Kageyama huffs, looking at his computer once more. He stands up from his chair, ignoring how his knees clumsily crash into the underside of the desk, plants his hands on his desk and bends downwards, stretching his spine till he was eye-to-webcam with his laptop.

“Oi. Clown. If you don’t work right this very second, I’ll start serving volleyballs at you. And since you’re a pinhead, like a certain Hinata Shoyo, you won’t be able to receive them! Now work-!”

He’s rather rudely cut off as Hinata sits upright, flies off the rug and lands on Kageyama’s back with a resounding thud, knocking all the wind out of the younger. The spiker gives him a particularly hard noogie and a glare. 

“Why am I on your list of insults, Kageyama Tobio?! Answer me!”

“You’re an idiot! It’s only fair!”

“How on earth-”

And so, they continue to bicker. Legend has it they still haven’t stopped and probably won’t for the next century.

“Hey, I heard that! We stopped bickering! Narrator!”

One sec, I’ll be right back. Before these kids shake me so hard my toupee flies off.

_4._  
It’s English class. The sun’s high in the sky, the air hot and humid, and uncomfortably so. Kageyama wipes the sweat off the slope of his nose, and Hinata blinks to keep his eyes awake. Flies buzz lazily, the class is silent and sleepy.

The teacher clip-clops into the room, heels clicking, and she stands at her desk and claps her hands to wake up her students.

“Today, we’ll be playing Block and Tackle,” the English teacher announces. 

“Tackle?” Kageyama perks up, eyes sparkling, and Hinata nods excitedly next to him, jumping. “Block? Who are we blocking?”

“You fools,” Tsukishima hisses. “It’s an English game.”

“Oh,” Hinata says, stupidly. “Still! Blocking! Tackling! Kageyama, I challenge you to a due-”

“Ah-ah-ah! No duelling, Hinata,” the English teacher reprimands. “Since you both are so excited, why don’t you demonstrate to the class?”

Kageyama pales and glares at Hinata. “Look what you got us into, dumbass!”

“Come on, Kageyama, liven up a little! It can’t be that bad.”

Hinata, sweetie. It really is that bad.

They get up from their desks and move to the centre of the room, and for some reason, their hands gravitate towards each other, and their fingers touch as they stand side by side. The English teacher begins talking about the rules.

“Pretty simple. I’ll give you a topic, and when I say ‘block’, you go against the topic. When I say ‘tackle’, you go for the topic. Since there are two of you, when I say your name and command, you start doing the action. The transitions should be seamless, and no logic required.”

Yamaguchi snickers. “They’ll definitely get the logic part down. They run on spinal reflex.” Tsukishima smiles condescendingly at the duo. Yachi gives them a half-hearted thumbs up.

“The topic is, ‘make an omelette without cracking the egg,’” she says. “3, 2, 1- Kageyama Tobio, tackle.”

“Erm,” he starts, and then his hands fly around everywhere. Hinata squats to avoid the flurry of limbs. “You can do that! If you shake the egg hard enough, it’ll mix in the shell, and then you boil it that way! Or fry it! Whichever one works better. And, it’ll taste good!”

“Hinata Shoyo, block.”

“Aha!” Hinata springs to his feet, shoving Kageyama to the side. “But why the hell would you do that? That’s going to taste crappy! Imagine an omelette with no salt, no pepper, no seasoning. Count me out, that sounds like trash! Disgusting!”

“Kageyama Tobio, tackle.”

“There’s a way around this! You can sprinkle the salt and pepper on top of the omelette! Makes it real tasty, the same effect!”  
Hinata bursts out laughing, hands on his stomach. The entire class is snickering, watching the duo flounder in front of them.

“Kageyama Tobio, block.”

“Oh no,” Kageyama sighs, distraught. The class explodes in laughter, even the teacher’s laughing. “But! But! That’s not okay! What about chillies? And tomatoes? And condiments? What kind of omelette doesn’t have some extra veggies? Where’s the healthiness?”

“Hinata Shoyo, tackle.”

“Ah, but you can chop them up separately and mix it in with the cut egg! It’ll become a… An egg omelette salad,” he says, intelligently. “A glorious egg omelette salad! Think about the possibilities! Sounds so yummy!”

“Kageyama Tobio, block.”

“Argh,” he groans, quietly. “What the hell is an egg omelette salad? What are you doing, acting healthy? No, cut that! Sounds like crap! Don’t do that to yourself! Don’t bother with all this, just crack the egg and make your omelette, kids!”

“And your time is up!” The teacher stands up, clapping. “Wonderfully amusing, kids. Good job.”

Kageyama and Hinata turn to each other and give each other a high-five, and if their fingers tangled together in the process, if their hearts sped up at their brief moment of contact – they elected to ignore it.

 _+1._  
“What are we?” Kageyama asks between puffs of air. They’re jogging. Again. 

“What do you mean, Kageyama-kun?” Hinata asks, speeding up to stay in pace with the setter. “We’re Japanese. High school volleyball players.”

“No. Are we friends?” Kageyama looks down at Hinata, face unreadable.

“Yeah,” Hinata says, amicably, but Kageyama thinks it feels wrong.

Kageyama feels like ‘friends’ doesn’t cut it. It feels like an understatement, an insult to their closeness. Kageyama’s always felt like some people weren’t meant to be apart – and even if it took him a while to get used to it, he knows that he and Hinata aren’t meant to be anything but what they are now.

Hinata completes him, makes him better. His greatest friend and number one enemy. But the word ‘friends’ makes it all mediocre.  
“I think we aren’t just friends, though,” Hinata says, starting to slow down. “It feels like we’re a little more.”

“Yeah,” Kageyama replies. “Like, it feels like we’re more than friends. Like we’re best friends.”

“Have you heard of soulmates, Kageyama?”

Kageyama has heard of soulmates. Two people, two souls, destined to be together. It could be romantic, could be platonic, could be ambiguous. 

“Yep,” he responds. 

“Maybe we’re soulmates,” Hinata suggests, looking up at Kageyama with stunning brown eyes that glinted in the sunlight. “Not best friends, but like… Mega best friends!”

His hands sneak to Kageyama’s, and the setter takes it gratefully, locking their fingers together. They stare at each other, blush high on their cheeks, and Kageyama says sincerely, “You’re my mega best friend, clown.”

“And you’re mine, idiot.”

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. the block & tackle thing was a solo incident i did irl. it was fun.  
> 2\. kagehina are DENSE in here and i wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
